my neighbor leaves every weekend, and I sleep so well. He was gone last night and CAME BACK. THAT ASSHOLE. And he just fires up the microphone and starts scream-singing some Bruno Mars.
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
*person taking Bible verse out of context*
Mike Wazowski: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me
I’m Sorry but you two can’t get the marriage. the Bible said Adam and Eve not Matthew and Ashley. Come back when you’ve legally changed your names
